Dear GotMeals Fan,
I don’t know about you, but every year around this time I get this little feeling of dread tapping at my shoulder.
And then a mild, spring like day comes around and I remember: we have to get out of our winter coats and sweaters and into bathing suits and shorts soon.
Although I have made peace with my body through what I choose to nourish myself with and being very mindful about it, there was a time that I didn’t feel that way at all.
I would have to say for half of my life actually. That’s a long time to feel down on yourself.
Starting when I was a teenager, I got stuck in the cycle of the never ending holiday that turned into the inevitable 5 pounds gained. The “I’ll deal with that later, for now, I eat!” mode.
Inevitably, the holiday season would end, and there I was, dazed and confused. Isn’t that what we were supposed to do over the holidays? Eat everything in sight – cookies, chocolate, huge dinners – and worry about it all later?
Maybe for some people. For me, I had extra weight to now deal with.
And the dieting would begin. The Scarsdale Diet, the “two shakes and a sensible dinner” diet. I don’t even remember the name of that one, I just remember it being horrible.
They were all unsustainable, because who eats like that anyway?
Really, when I think about it, going on these diets was all about punishment. I had to right the wrong I had done.
Isn’t this what I was supposed to do? I didn’t know any better.
Looking back I know I was motivated by external factors (if I lose this weight then I can finally be happy) rather than what I know now.
To get healthier, to lose weight, to feel more energized, I had to tap into the real “why” behind it all.
I wanted to stop beating myself up every year, I wanted to be as healthy as I could be for my three children.
I wanted off that punishing roller coaster.